Bollocks, bollocks,bollocks

Me and my big mouth.

Just fired off an email all gung ho/Dunkerque spirit/don't worry, even if we have to crawl we will get there.

And then I went to speak to the Environment Agency who have told me that basically there isn't a hope in hell of getting on the water for Thurs or Fri and that it is highly unlikely we will get out on Sat or Sun as well. 1 or 2 days making up for cycling with rowing feels like it might be feasible, but 4 days without once getting in a boat kind of makes you question what we are doing...

Plus the severe weather warning means it is likely that parts of the Thames path could flood, it began to feel a bit stupid.

So whilst we may be down, we certainly aren't out.

A hastily convened meeting last night in the pub and we have got a new date - provisional at this stage - of Friday 13th June to Monday 16th June. A few more logistical things to sort before we can 100% confirm but hopefully we should be back on soon and ready to boss that Thames. Brint it on wet pants...

(not Ben - talking about the Thames obviously...which is surprisingly moist at the moment)

Do you believe in God?

Cross your fingers, pick some four leaved clovers and pray to the highest heavens that it stops raining. And quickly.

For weeks we have fretted about what might go wrong (not that i am a pessimist you understand - just concerend of St Margaret's...) and felt confident that we had every eventuality covered bar one.

- What if one of us stumbles over, turns an ankle and can't run? No worries, we have got 2 mountain bikes strapped to the back of the support car so we can at least ensure we are self powered even if we can't run.

- What if something goes wrong with one of the boats? No worries, a crash course in boat maintaneance and a tool box that would make your average Homebase store manager feel jealous will see us through.

- What if Qin's chat stinks so badly that none of us can hack it anymore? No worries, we've all got iPod's.

But always lurking in the background was that one thing we couldn't cater for - it that must not be named - the Voldemort of Merander obstacles. The English summer.

And i can't help but think it is my fault.

Now a good bit of rain is a positive - makes the river run faster, makes our skiffing easier & nippier. And there i was, middle of last week looking at some bank holiday rain, feeling rather smug. After all, always nice to get a helping hand from mother nature.

But there is a fine line between "a bit of rain" and "too much rain" and we have crossed it - or at least are perilously close to crossing it.

When the river is in full flood, there are 2 types of boards that are put up - Yellow - "you can skiff, but be careful as it is dangerous" - and Red - "I pity the fool..."

As i write at 9:45pm on Tues evening, there is only a short stretch of river between Marlow & Maidenhead (day 3 - Sat) that has red boards - the rest of the river we can skiff on.

But the problem is that this was an automated message at 4:30pm this afternoon. And it is due to shit it down tonight. So as of tomorrow morning? Who knows.

All we can do is pray.

So i ask you this - whatever your faith, whatever your attitude to fate, chance or luck, please do us a favour. Please urge the fates/gods/pixies/tooth fairy not to let it rain. And if i am being really picky, can you ask for some sun too?

Cause if we don't, we've got to find a plan B. And right now, there isn't much of one...

1 week to go...and the fear is here...

That's the last time we let Qin stretch against a tree...

With just one week to go, things are getting a little excited and tense (in fairly equal measure) in the Merander household.

Last minute sessions on the river to refine our technique have gone well (bar the odd oar snapping mishap from Mr Wiseman - apparently his guns are just too big and the blades can't cope with the power...). Hattie & Vix have had their first coxing outings and handled them with deft skill and Tim, Kath & Dom are due in over the next few days.

Running also seems to be going well with strong training from the lads. Unfortuantely I (Garnetto) have had a few shin splinter issues so am on an intensive 3 times a week physio schedule at the moment but making strong progress and confident that it won't hinder me when we finally tackle the Thames Path. With Matt's knee held together by sellotape, Team 2 is shaping up to have the physical sturdiness of your average Darren Anderton season but I am sure we will make it!

Massive thanks to everyone who has already donated thus far - awesome generosity has seen us very nearly up to £3k but still a long way to go to get to the £10k target so if you haven't had the chance yet, please dig deep and sponsor us - 4 great causes that would be hugely appreciative of your hard earned sheckles. CLICK HERE TO DONATE ONLINE

We are also delighted that so many of you are planning to meet us at the London Rowing Club on Sunday 1st from 3pm - there will be a bar and a BBQ which we hope you will make full use of. So bring your shorts and sunnies and see you there.

And we have even had some keen beens (Jon, Tim, Hattie to name a few) who have threatened to run the final legs with us which will be awesome (so long as you promise to be slow and sweaty like we will be...). If you fancy it, please let us know as would be great to see you.

So you know, we will run and row past the club as the finish line is Putney Bridge, so don't worry, we will come back in case you thought we couldn't be arsed to come in and celebrate...

That's everything - please post us any last minute good luck messages by clicking on the messages link below

Team 1 Vs. Team 2 - the toss of the coin

Amidst scenes of great drama, we did the toss of the coin a couple of nights ago to see who would be skiffing and who would be running which legs of the Thames.

Lets be honest, there are a lot of legs that no one really cares about which ones they do but three were a bit contentious:

1) Who would lead us out of Lechlade at the start
2) Who would bring us home into Putney
3) And which poor sods would have the misfortune to have to run the longest stretch of the river - 6.5 miles between Benson & Cleeve locks (through Wallingford on Day 2)

And by some ridiculous misfortune, Matt and I seem to have got the short straw not once, not twice, but thrice!

I am still struggling to get to terms with the fact that, as the person who has worked out the distances and times, surely i should have been able to rig this so that i didn't get stitched up quite as much as i have, but no, it seems not.

Dissappointing to say the least...

So there you have it, Ben & Qin leading us out and bringing us home in the boat and Matt & Simon running, sweating heavily and out of breath (lets hope not at Lechlade at least)

1 race, 1 win

Look at that for awesome timing and hardly any splashing...

Saturday saw the first real test of our progress so far with two of us (Simon and Ben) taking part in the Wraysbury 3 mile skiffing regatta. We competed in the Gentleman’s Novice class in division two which consisted of about 8 boats of all levels from ... well us to a well respected senior women’s crew...

Early bravado soon disappeared as we seriously began to question our realistic chances being the only crew not to have entered a regatta before. We managed to psyche ourselves out a little by looking at the other crews and thinking they were bigger/stronger/fitter/better than us (little bit like the warm up for a rugby match when all you can do is get the fear about their enormous second rowers...)

As we took to the water I discovered the answer to a question that countless people have toiled over for many years … how do you shut Garnett up? Answer? Put him in a skiffing race as not a peep was heard in our final preparations.

The crews set off at 20 sec intervals; we had two experienced ladies crews in front of us and our main competition in the form of two other Gentleman’s novice crews behind us. This meant that we could keep tabs on them but might also face the humiliation of being overtaken.

The start was a rolling start and we hit it perfectly and to our amazement were overtaking the crew in front of us within the first few hundred metres. We powered on inspired by are impressive start and before we knew it we were pulling swiftly away from the crews behind us and gaining on the star crew in front.

By the half way point Ben hit the wall but after much shouting and gnashing of teeth powered through it. On the run home we extended our lead over the boats behind and ever so slowly hunted down the one in front. As we crossed the line we were quietly confident that we had done enough to win.

After what seemed like an age prize giving came and sure enough we picked up our first medals (and by medals, we do of course mean horrible "faux bronze tat") in a very respectable time which actually meant that we had not only won our class but our division as well.

I can only hope that the event goes as soomthly...

Merander 2008: The Challenge

So what the hell is a “MERANDER”?
Well largely just a really bad pun courtesy of Matt – let me explain...

A Meander is the name given to any descent of the Thames from the highest navigable point (Lechlade in Gloucester) to at least London (although where you give up does rather bizzarely seem to be up to you as some chose Teddington, others Gravesend in Essex).

A MeRANder (see what we've done there? Clever...) is the name given to one of these journeys that combines skiffing (that’s rowing in a fixed seat boat – yes it is as painful as it sounds – and that’s without the chafing...) with running.

Stupid? Yup, we are beginning to think so too.

So how does it work?
There are 45 locks on the Thames – mostly spaced out every 3 to 5 miles. At each of these, we will swap over, so that 2 of us who had been running will then skiff and vice versa. In practice, this means that for 4 days, we will be skiffing 17 miles a day and running 17 miles a day.

Or to put it more scarily, in 4 days, we will each have run 70 miles and skiffed 70 miles. Ouch.

The Route:
140 miles of pure Thames joy...

Day 1: Lechlade to Abingdon: a nice gentle 40 miler to break us in. And as if things aren’t bad enough, we also have to go through Oxford. Disappointing...

Day 2: Abingdon to Wargrave: A more modest 35 miles through Goring, Pangbourne & Reading

Day 3: Wargrave to Staines: 32 miles through Henley, Maidenhead and Windsor. But it’s alright because we get to ease our aching muscles in the finest hotel that Staines has to offer. Travelodge anyone?

Day 4: The final 32 mile stretch through Weybridge, Kingston, Richmond before ending at Putney. At Richmond we join the tidal Thames so to keep up, the runners will need to put in some 6 minute miles – should be easy enough after 130 miles don’t you think?

TO MAKE A COMMENT, PLEASE CLICK ON THE COMMENTS LINK BELOW

The Charities

Doing a lot of work for charity that we don't really like to talk about

Whilst doing this for own self esteem and vanity is a noble motive indeed (well sort of) it is much easier to know that what we are doing it for a really great cause – or more importantly 4 great causes.

And in the four charities that we have chosen, we each have a personal and very real motivation to make it during those inevitable miles when we will no doubt want to give up, cry and just shout at each other...

So please read about our chosen charities below and donate in the most generous fashion you can – by giving us loads of cash!

"Give us your fcuking money Sir Bob"

British Heart Foundation: Every five minutes in the UK, somebody dies from a heart attack. And in a great deal of those instances, it is people's doubt or ignorance of the symptoms that stops them getting the right help. A chest pain is your body's way of saying call 999

As the largest indepdent funder of heart research in the UK, BHF is committed to fighting diseases of the heart and circulation that currently cause premature death and disability. In addition, they provide education for for public and professionals alike, as well as providing life saving cardiac equipment and support for rehab and patient care.

Please visit http://www.bhf.org.uk/

Terrence Higgins Trust:
The Terrence Higgins Trust is the UK’s leading HIV and sexual health charity, providing a wide range of services to over 50,000 people a year. The charity also campaigns and lobbies for greater political and public understanding of the personal, social and medical impact of HIV and sexual ill health.

THT was one of the first charities to be set up in response to the HIV epidemic and has been at the forefront of the fight against HIV and AIDS ever since. The Trust was established as a charity in 1982. Terry Higgins was one of the first people in the UK to die with AIDS. A group of his friends wanted to prevent more people having to face the same illness as Terry. So they named the Trust after him, hoping to personalise and humanise AIDS in a very public way.

For more details, please visit http://www.tht.org.uk/

Help for Heroes:
Help for Heroes was launched on 1st October 2007. We wanted to do something practical for the men and women of our Armed Forces who are wounded while serving in the current conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan.

What is H4H all about? It’s about the blokes, our men and women. It’s about Derri, a rugby player who has lost both his legs, it about Carl whose jaw is wired up so he has been drinking through a straw. It’s about Richard who was handed a mobile phone as he lay on the stretcher so he could say goodbye to his wife. It is about Ben, its about Steven and Andy and Mark, its about them all.

They are just blokes but they are our blokes; they are our heroes. We want to help our heroes.

For more info please visit the site on http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/

Beating Bowel Cancer:
Do you like talking about your bottom? No didn’t think so. But you should. And one of the aims of Beating Bowel Cancer is getting people to be happy to communicate frankly and knowledgably about all aspects of the disease, bowels and bums – because that is the way to beat Bowel Cancer.

Bowel cancer is the 2nd biggest cancer killer in the UK. 35,500 people will be diagnosed with the disease this year and around half will die. But, before we get too depressed, if caught early, it is one of the most curable cancers.

So along with getting all of us more comfortable with talking about our bums, Beating Bowel Cancer is dedicated to raising awareness of symptoms, promoting early diagnosis and encouraging open access to treatment choices for those affected.

For more details, please visit http://www.beatingbowelcancer.org/ and in the meantime, if you are stuck for conversation, you know what to talk about...

So how do we give you the cash?
To donate, please click here. All donations will be split evenly across all four charities to ensure we raise money for all the charities dear to our hearts.

Thank you in advance for your generosity – it is hugely appreciated.

TO MAKE A COMMENT PLEASE CLICK ON THE COMMENTS LINK BELOW